intro:post:about:your:hostess:

[riverdresses]

Okay, so back in the days of yore (or when I had more fandoms or whatnot), I used to do a lot of friending memes & such. I'm kind of crappy at making regular intro posts when I do one, so this one's pretty much the standard for getting to know me. I update it every so often & well . . . okay, that's enough preamble.

Anyway, hello there, readers of this semi-interesting post! I'm your hostess & I do hope everyone's comfortable enough to read this babble.

My name at the moment, is Sunday, my middle name Aeryn. (yes, like Aeryn Sun from Farscape. Reasoning? I love Aeryn & I thought it was a very pretty name. So it became my middle name. But I've been really lazy about watching it, so it's almost like I've never seen it. BUt I have - three or four eps, perhaps?) I say 'at the moment' because I have a well-chronicled & chronic habit of changing my name when I a) get bored of it, b) am not feeling all myself mentally, c) feel like I've outgrown it or d) if there are other names I'd like to wear for a while. The name on my birth certificate is actually Elena, but I detest that name deeply. It just doesn't feel like who I am as a person & never, ever has. I've been doing this since I was about seven & I've just never stopped, nor do I intend to. Either way, eventually, when I have the money & capacity to, I will have it legally changed.

I'm twenty years old as of last month, an Aquarius-who-feels-more-like-a-Pisces & I'm a half only child - my half brother lives in Los Angeles with his wife & daughter, who would be my niece. I'm also bisexual. My mother knows, but the rest of my family isn't. I'm okay with that, since I'm not sure how they would react to hearing that. My mother seems to be alright with it, but I think deep down, it makes her uncomfortable.

I'm currently taking time off of school - mostly because I haven't decided if I ever want to resume my education due to personal matters & because I have never enjoyed school in the slightest. I'm coming a bit closer to deciding on a 'life plan' for myself, but nothing's set in stone by any means. I'm also looking for work, though I've been pretty unsuccessful so far. (I never worked when I was a teenager, therefore I have no real work experience, which is most likely the biggest problem.)

I live with my mother & for an untold amount of time - could be forever, could be a few weeks, my father. My father also keeps a place that eventually we're all supposedly going to move into, which is where he goes if he isn't living at our house.

There is also a kitty. The kitty's name is Austin & he's six. He's a silly, attention-loving, people kitty with very bad teeth, which, hopefully, will be operated on in the near future. You'd never know he had bad teeth though - he eats like a piglet.

My relationship with the last two people mentioned is considerably poor. My mother is an alcoholic, my father is of the verbally, emotionally, & mentally abusive sort. I prefer my mother to him, since she makes things a bit easier than he ever does. But really, I try not to spend too much time with either of them now that I'm older. The cat, however, I would jump in front of a moving truck for.

I've suffered from severe depression since I was nine years old & have been on & off various treatments for it since I was fourteen. It can range from light bouts to some very severe episodes that can last for months. I try not to talk about it here, or anywhere really, since I usually just tell myself, 'Hey, you know, people don't care and never really want to know about it unless they get paid for it.' I do go to therapy regularly & take regular medications for it, but it still can be hard to deal with. If I do talk about it here, it's always cut or filtered.

I'm also incredibly shy around almost every single person I come in contact with. Most conversations are spent with my eyes on my feet. It takes me several minutes to ask someone for help in a bookshop. Withdrawn would not be incorrect. But I usually brighten up & become more irritatingly cheery when I get to know people better & am more familiar with my surroundings.

But I don't want to sound like I'm always sad & quiet! I can be shamelessly exuberant at times, especially in public. I have almost no concept of dignity & I can do odd things like dancing on trains & buses, dancing to music when I hear it outside & other things like that. I can also be a very silly creature when the mood is right.

I could not exist without words of some form. When I was a younger thing, I would have actual fits when I had no book or paper or pen with me. I've been known to make lists of words & hoard them away in my notebooks, or at least I did in my younger days. So it should not be surprising to learn that I am a writer of sorts.

Oddly, I've no interest in being a novelist. The only things I would even dream of publishing on that scale are personal anecdotes of some sort. I've not a good mind for dialogue & I never enjoy any of the characters I create. Also, I am terrible at stitching a story together.

What I do instead, is zine. My zine is called riverdresses, though it is not a fanzine by any means whatsoever. riverdresses (yes, it is meant to have no capitalization) is where almost everything non-fannish in nature winds up - the occasional poem, essays, collages occasionally, memories & ephemera like that. It's the one thing that I'm most serious about working on & consider that to be my own equivalent of a novel-in-progress. riverdresses is the only place that I feel comfortable writing about myself, or talking about myself at all, in a serious, honest way. I don't care much for what people think of that; if they can't handle the way I write it, they're most welcome to fuck off.

Beyond writing, I collage occasionally. My collages are mostly layouts for riverdresses, but I do some for a paper diary I share with softlyy. I also enjoy mailart in all its forms & I work a bit on an altered book, even though the progress on it is very slow.

I also ♥ photography, even if I'm not very good at it. I just love taking pictures of things that I find beautiful or interesting. I have no formal training, but I have fun & that's what I think is important.

Now THIS is what you were all waiting for, I know you folks. ::laughs::

I got my start in fandom-by-way-of-the-Internet in, o, maybe 2003 or 2002, I want to say. Either way I was twelve or thirteen at the time & my my very first fandom was Harry Potter. This was the fandom that basically taught me all the ins & outs of fandom, fic, shipping & all that good stuff. I no longer associate with that fandom - honestly, I just hate it now, but it was my first one!

My current fandom of choice is Doctor Who, mostly Classic!Who/audios & maybe, occasionally, New!Who. I actually find the original series & the original Doctors & companions a lot more fun than the ones of the new series, though I like most of them as well. I also consider Firefly, Withnail & I (o, hush, it has a fandom, alright?) & Life On Mars to be current fandoms, even though I'm not as active in the Firefly fandom as I once was, & I lurk mostly in the Life On Mars fandom.

Doctor Who, incidentally, is the only other fandom I've had post-Firefly that made me actually want to be properly active in fandom again.

I like Torchwood well enough, but I hate the fandom, honestly. I also LOVE Gwen & I really don't care if you want to kill me for doing so. (if you do, I think you need to see someone about that, okay?) I think people need to scale back on the hatred for her, or just quit taking the whole fandom so seriously. To me, fandom should be fun, not all SRS BSNS constantly. The fandom for the new series of Doctor Who tends to annoy me a bit as well, which is why I mostly stay with the original series - much less wank & bitchery. There can be some, but compared to the fandom of the new series, it's pretty damn calm most of the time.

My past fandoms include Supernatural, Stargate SG-1 & Stargate Atlantis, though I'm sure there are others I can't really remember right now.

Fandoms that are slowly going to become fandoms would be the Sherlock Holmes mysteries & the Horatio Hornblower series. (& if you haven't read anything of either, YOU SHOULD.)

I occasionally write fic, but I'm always a nervous little ball about posting it because I never think anything I write is any good. So I talk a lot about what I'd like to write, but I'm lucky if I ever actually start writing any of it. Self-confidence & bravery, I does not have it.

I actually prefer to make soundtracks, or ficmixes instead! I think they're more fun, personally. Or, in lieu of that, huge spams of love dedicated to characters or pairings or whatnot.

(I also hate the word 'fanmix'. I find it really fucking tacky.)

I also tend to end up with obsessions-within-obsessions in fandom. In Classic!Who, since that's my main obsession right now, my obsession-within-an-obsession would probably be a tossup between the Eighth Doctor or Jamie McCrimmon. I apparently can't be obsessed with one thing, my mind must have multiple things to obsess over!

Sometimes said obsessions like to share my headspace. Usually that leads to a lot of prodding to write porn fic or make mixes or open Photoshop & see what happens there. (usually? A disaster.) I like my muses though. ::pets them all::

- I'm severely, essentially cripplingly so, emetophobic. It began when I was about fourteen or fifteen & I've never been able to deal with it. So I'm not a good person to have around if you're sick, even if I love you. It isn't you, it's me & my irrational fears, I promise!

- I abuse the following things: capslockery, list formats, hearts & commas. You will see this.

- I create my own words & just use them in everyday sentences. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THIS ALREADY.

- I hate wearing trousers. If I could, I'd wear nothing but dresses or skirts for the rest of my life. But considering I live in a place that can be damn cold at times, that's out of the question. But I only actually own four or five pairs of trousers!

- I? Am deeply nonsensical. Half of what I say probably won't make sense to anyone but me, & even then, it won't always make sense to me.

- I tend to have a very saucy mind, even if I don't say all the words. I like that. ::giggle:: More fun that way!

- Said sauciness often comes out in fic, or comment parties. ::whistles innocently::

- I ADORE A GOOD COMMENT PARTY OR A GOOD COMMENT SPAM. So feel free to spam the hell out of me! I'll make it a party, trust me.

& if there's any more you want to know, though I can't imagine why, comment & ask! Comments are screened, so don't be shy!