♦

[riverdresses]

::sprawls out over LJ for no real reason::

(& also, heartpoints are very good, yes? Yes.)

♥ I had the most curious Wednesday. I was waiting at the bus stop when this rather odd fellow suddenly began a bit of a conversation with me. (I say 'odd', but really, the only word to aptly describe him would be 'tweaker'!) It wasn't a normal, how-do-you-do-my-the-weather-is-nice-today conversation. It was just a sort of strange conversation. He asked me if I'd ever heard of an anti-psychotic medication that I never had heard of & now I can't even remember the name of. Then we talked a bit of antidepressants & he asked me what my most favourite thing to do was. (I said something about things to do with words, as you'd expect.)

After a bit, he left to go find a water fountain & my bus came. I felt a bit guilty about leaving him, because I'm a dumb girl who wonders about the outcomes of such chance meetings, but I had to be somewhere & I didn't want to be late.

(Therapist says he was probably flirting with me. I . . . agree, shockingly. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT.)

♥ My cousin's baby shower is tomorrow. She's due next month on the twelfth - the same month Mummy & I have our birthdays. I'm actually looking forward to it, somehow, but I dread the socialising aspect of it. (must bring my medication with me tomorrow.)

♥ Stopped being a lazy girl & watched The Keeper of Traken & Castrovalva, both of which I can say I adored. DUDE, WHEN DID I START LIKING FIVE? 'cause I do like him a lot more now! & his regeneration was definitely one of the best ones the Doctor's ever had & by that I mean the utterly scatterbrained nature of it & the total confusion he was having every ten seconds. It made me kind of want to pet him & make him soup.

But that's not the biggest shock of mine - that would be that I think I'm a) starting to like Nyssa & Tegan (& maybe even Adric a tiny bit) a LOT & b) that during The Keeper of Traken, I was totally shipping Adric/Nyssa, then while I watched Castrovalva, I was all 'OMG TEGAN/NYSSA OMG SO FEMMESLASHY & AWESOME.' & I might have been casually flipping between 'ooo, Adric/Ainley!Master, anyone?' & 'Adric . . . you are very tedious after a time.'

(& FOUR. STOP GROPING HIM, PLEASE. I know you miss Romana, but QUIT PAWING THE BORING MATH GENIUS PLZ.)

But the ending of The Keeper of Traken made me a little sad, for obvious - or rather, not so obvious reasons - it made me sad because at the end, without ever knowing, Nyssa loses her father to the Master. & she never gets to say goodbye to him or even try & stop it. & then when she sees him again in Logopolis, she finds out that effectively, her father's dead to her. I . . . I think Nyssa got a really raw deal & I hate it. It was unfair to her & heartbreaking to see, even though it's so fast.

But it's not out of sympathy that I like her - Nyssa reminds me a bit of Zoe, so that automatically makes me like her! & she's not as annoying as I thought she'd be. Same with Tegan, somehow . . . in The Five Doctors, she annoyed the hell out of me. But in Logopolis & Castrovalva, I thought she was kind of cool. & I really want to see her in Time-Flight & I do hope she's more femmeslashy with Nyssa. I LOVE THE NYSSA/TEGAN.

So. I somehow went from detesting Five & his companions, save Turlough, from liking all of them, but being lukewarm on Adric. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN I DON'T GET IT WTF.

(I want more Five please.)

♥ Lately I've been having a bit of self-doubts about my signing up for getyourwordsout this year - self-doubt being along the lines of 'OMG why can't my wordcount be higher, why does everything I write suck, why can't I do anything else, o fuck, am I keeping Sarah & Romana in character (still working on that project, made it to part three, OMG), I suck, I shouldn't have signed up, I can't do things like this, I can't take pressure O CHRIST WHAT WAS I ON WHEN I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA I CANNOT WRITE TO SAVE MY LIFE GODDAMMIT.'

::breathes:: I guess everyone gets like that when they do something like this, but that's why I never take challenges or do things like this - I buckle under pressure at a certain point & I'm already obsessing on my wordcount instead of my story.

I hate that. I hate it when I get all about one aspect of anything I do & sort of let the rest meander along on its own merry way.

Um. At this point, a slap upside the head would not be turned away. As long as it brings with it some sense & a reminder of 'YOU MADE YOUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT, STUPID GIRL.'

& since we're on the subject of writing, I took the night off last night to watch (partially for research, but really because I wanted a break & I wanted to see this) The Dreamers. (Yes, I actually was doing research for my Sarah/Romana/Eight thing whilst watching.) It's a lovely film & yes, much sex happens in it, but I actually enjoyed the story far more than the sex. The story & the music, actually - The Doors were played!! ::squees::

(& o, Eva Green is a gorgeous girl. Unfairly gorgeous - why can't I look like that?!)

Okay, off to slog out another page or two for the night.

O! Before, I forget, day seven of the happiness meme!

♥ Getting to talk to my mei-mei softlyy last night for the first time in ages!! ::glomps her::

Comments

[backinblackk.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness I know exactly what you mean about the writing! When I was doing NaNo I was sooo bitchy about it. Everyday my word count would be too small and it would make my whole day that much crappier. But you just have to keep going! Even a small daily word count is okay, because it's still words! Says the girl who had to write 20,000 in two days to win NaNo because she procrastinated so much :/ It doesn't have to be perfect, not just yet! Just write, write, and keep writing and you're making progress. And I'll share a secret with you: I haven't looked at my NaNo novel since November 30. I always keep it open in a Word doc on the taskbar, but I never look at it - and I don't want to, not just yet. It's not even close to being finished - 1/4 through my whole plot. But I'm not ready to read it because I know it's crap, since I had to rush through it. And no one says you have to look at what you've written right away! That being said, I promised myself I'd work on it tonight. I'm still trying to get my nerves up D:

And after that huge long paragraph, remember you can e-mail me or text me anytime you get frustrated. I'm always there for a peptalk, a giggle, or perhaps a fan-yourself-he's-so-hot picture of Eight when the going gets tough ;)

[ninkasa.livejournal.com]

With regards to the word count, I am so far behind on where I should be that I've considered giving up, but look at it this way, you've got a year and you might end up getting a brilliant idea that destroys all your doubts.

I realised yesterday that to hit the wordcount I need to be on by tonight I need to write like ten more pages on my novel.

So, naturally, I went and watched Mamma Mia.

Antonio Banderas voice: You can do eet! *cheerleads*

And if you need someone to whine to, I'm always around. *snugs*

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

ummmmmm.....it's been about 5 days seen we've talked.

so....*shrugs*

[yourgravity.livejournal.com]

Re: crazy!guy. Wow. I used to have this guy who would come into my work, tell me I smelled nice, tell me about his (dead) girlfriend, and then ask me out. This pattern repeated about twice until I, totally creeped the hell out, told him I was seeing someone. Yeah. Those weirdo's are all over the place.

Re: the writing challenge. I so think you can do it!! :D