(paint me up in lights & we will hold together all the long nights)

[riverdresses]

The most curious thing happened to me one evening this week.

I'd spent the afternoon in the bookshop (very much illicitly, as I should have been elsewhere) & it had darkened outside, when a woman came by my table & asked if she could share it with me. Of course I said yes, as I always do when someone asks if they might share my table. She sat down & said she was going to get a cup of coffee & asked me if I would like anything. I politely declined, as I don't eat very much during the day & certainly not sweets.

So we sat there in silence, her reading with her coffee, me answering the absolute mad flurry of comments between nentari & myself & reading the EDA The Blue Angel. A silent pocket of time one evening in November. Nothing remarkable about it.

Then she got up & thanked me for having let her sit at my table & I said it had been no trouble at all & that she was welcome. She wished me a happy Thanksgiving (o my, so close, isn't it? I barely even realised.) & vanished. I continued to sit there, typing, clickclicking & reading. I didn't look up until a fellow came up & asked me if a white-haired woman had been sitting there. I said yes & was worried for a moment that I'd been in the presence of a book booster or someone who skips out on paying their cafe tab, until he presented me with a slice of carrot cake & a cup of coffee with whipped cream on top & said that she'd wanted me to have it as a thankyou.

I was quite honestly stunned, but in the best way possible. A few of the regulars who see me there & know me to be there often have on occasion offered to share a drink or an edible with me, but I'm always very polite & decline, though I'm flattered that they'd be so kind to offer! But I'd never had I had someone secretly buy me something for merely letting them sit with me!

The cake was quite good, & so was my whipped cream coffee. & reading more of The Blue Angel while I had it was just as nice. I was in a very good mood on the way home that night, even in the cold which seems to be worse for me this year - I shake & my teeth chatter & my hands twitch constantly, even in my arm warmers. But then, I was splendidly happy & singing silently in the cold.

That small moment reminded me that people really aren't always so full of hate & cruelty as I try to think most of them are. & that isn't so much in a mean context, but as a way to remind myself not to get so close to people, because they can let you down & they can hurt you so easily once they get so close. So I try to remember that people can just be very cruel & don't seem at all shy to show it when they feel like it. I know it's not a very healthy way to view others, but it's only from experience.

♥ ♥ ♥

The confusing fellow from the my last disastrous date continues to call me & continues to leave me voice messages, though you'd think by now he would have forgot about me. ::sigh:: I have no intention of seeing someone who either leads me about in a fog or can't decide if he's more interested in being my friend or something else. It's incredibly annoying & a waste of my time & energy - I am not interested in being his friend or being anything else! & I do wish he'd pick up on that! Just . . . please, decide your intentions rather quickly & stick to them, thankyouverymuch & not practically beg me to come back to your flat the first time you meet me, then spend all of next time that I see you psychoanalysing me as a woman & in a social context! I don't have the time, nor do I want to deal with having to guess what someone's intentions are every time I see them.

Bugger. He's an interesting fellow, but really, I've better things to do, thankyou, than sit & figure out the motives of a fellow who confuses me right from the get-go. I'd rather wait for someone who's open about how they feel toward me & doesn't go from kiss kiss one moment to studying me sociologically the next, even if it takes a bit longer.

♥

I've been watching them decorate the giant Christmas tree in the centre of downtown this week. They're putting the lights on it now, & it's like watching them frost a rather triangular, pointed cake. I can't wait to see it when it's all done - they usually light it up the day after Thanksgiving, I think, & the barbarian & I will hopefully go off shopping & we'll get to see the lights, which is my favourite thing we do in winter - it's so lovely & it reminds me that winter & Christmas are coming soon.

I hope there are roasted chestnuts on the corners again this year - I never did get to try them last year.

& most of all - I need to gather more books to read for the wintertime ahead. Yes, I have many already, but there is never such a thing as having too many books to read.

Comments

[riverdresses.livejournal.com]

It was one of the nicest things that's happened to me in a while. I do hope I see her again - I want to thank her!

(& thankyou for asking! It's going well, but nothing remarkable, actually - it becomes a bit routine after for first month or two! ::giggles:: But I enjoy it still. ♥)